ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
