Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
