Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
