why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it glows. i had to have it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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