we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
