I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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