11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
