Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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