He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
