I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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