Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
