I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
