These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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