oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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