with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
