Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
