I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
