yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
