I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
