I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
