And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
