she smelled like a LAN party
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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