Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
