yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
