I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
