hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
