I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
