im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
