i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
