Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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