if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
