Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
