after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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