he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
