it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
