You really coming over, don't trick.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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