then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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