Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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