I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
