i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He better not be in your backpack
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
