I heard we made out
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
is that a dick in a sweater?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
