I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
there is puke in my bra ... again
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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