dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
