there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
