Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
