Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
