So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
