Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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