Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
