spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
